Baby Steps...

So once a month was not the blogging schedule that I wanted to aspire to...but we all take baby steps towards our goals! And one might ask, if no one is reading your blog, why bother? Well, first of all, it is a goal I set forth for myself. And I am tired of not reaching my goals - by not even trying. (Sound familiar?) Secondly, Just because you're not reading it today doesn't mean that you won't some day. (Fingers crossed.) And secondly, sometimes you just want to speak/vent without judgement! Because let's face it, everyone has an opinion about how you could do things differently. I hear this most days of my life, even though some people may not even realize that they are doing it! And going through college as an art major, putting yourself on display to be critiqued to death, I can take some criticism. But criticizing to a gnat's ass about everything? Well come one, everyone has their limits! But I digress...

So eventually, I will start posting some creations and not just my sometimes incoherent ramblings...we're just waiting for that creativity to wake up. I'm hoping that girl is not lost forever...all for now!

I am a horrible blogger....still

So I am still am absolutely horrible blogger, this is no big new flash for me. Or the 1 person who has actually read my blog. And I'm not even sure why it is important for me to continue to put this on my list of things to do better - I really don't expect that I will be one of those women who start a blog and have it become their primary source of income, although that would be nice. 

So it's a new year and with a new year comes a new list of things that I want to accomplish for this year. Now you may notice that almost all of the items are the same as what I have included before. But I am going into this year with a slightly different attitude. This is the year of no excuses. I am tired, just tired. I am tired of making excuses as to why I don't take steps to make my life better; both personally and professionally. I am tired of living behind my insecurities that keep me from living the life that I feel I would be so good at having! Now I am not expecting that I will just storm out of my little box I keep myself locked in for protection, but I'm going to try my best to take those small steps that will eventually lead into a steady jog!

So here we go, the 15 things I want to accomplish for 2015:
1. Blog more - duh. I'm hoping by writing about my year, I will hold myself more accountable to make the changes I want to make. Because maybe, just maybe, someone will see this and ask me how well I'm doing at reaching my goals!
2. Take more walks. This will not only help me with #9, but it will help to keep me out of the aforementioned box that I lock myself in to keep myself from getting hurt.
3. Be Tina. If it's one thing I have to come to realize in the last few months is that I am sick of apologizing for being me. I know I have shortcomings, but don't we all? And I am the only one I know that constantly gets their shortcomings pointed out to them. I am no longer going to put myself in situations that I don't want to be in or where I feel like I have to apologize for being me. And I'm going to reduce and/or eliminate those around me who making me feel filled with anxiety over just being me. 
4. Make/Do at least 15 things that I have pinned on Pinterest. (Aren't we all guilty of this?!)
5. Make more cards. Seems appropriate since I continue to buy stuff to make the cards!
6. Send more cards. Especially at random and for no reason!
7. Take a class - Photography, cooking, etc.
8. Put myself out there! Try for happy!
9. Reach my happy weight.
10. Take more pictures. 
11. Make a book. Let's not call it a scrapbook, b/c let's face it: I am not a soccer mom. 
12. Prep for my first 5K. I've never been a runner. Even when I was in track I was little Miss Short Distance. So this one will be very rewarding. 
13. Create something amazing. I don't know what that will be, but I'll know it when I do it!
14. Make a new friend or reconnect with an old one. You have no idea how hard it is to make new friends once you're out of school and just how easy it is to lose touch with them. 
15. Have a fun themed party. Let's keep our thoughts clean here people!

I'm also going to give myself little monthly goals of things to do on my road to happy. I hope this is the year that I know it can be. I think I'm finally ready for it. And ready to stick it to a few people who think I am not ready, worthy, etc. - hee hee.

Wish me luck - And ask me how it's going! Everyone needs a little push every once and awhile. 

~Tina

I am a Horrible Blogger...

I truly am a horrible blogger, you can tell that I have no financial plans to my blog postings! Perhaps that would motivate me to be more consistent. (But doesn't a 2 year void go past consistency issues?!) Anyhoo, I am going to try to blog more and actually create more. And hey, blog about those creations! But since I am out of practice, this one will be short and sweet. 

So this weekend I took my adorable niece to see Wicked. She sang "For Good" for a school program months and months ago and so I thought this would be a treat. (For me too of course:) This was my 3rd time seeing Wicked and I truly do not think I can ever get tired of seeing it. I think this was maybe the best one yet. The first show was awesome, because it was the first - can you ever top that newness? The second time was just not as awesome, but that was the just because company I was with. (It's awful that you let someone drag you down from something you find so much joy in!) This time, well my niece was so excited that it made me so excited as well. The fact that a show can make you feel so empowered, emotional and just happy, even for just a few moments...it's just magical. It was truly wonderful thing:)

 

I am alive. I am alive. I am alive. Today is a day that I will not complain, I will just be thankful to be alive. There are 2,977 people that can not complain about how much they dislike their job, their employees, the extra 15 pounds that they carry around after eating too much pizza and french fries. They don't get to complain about having to fix their car, their air conditioner. They don't get to continue to be upset over the loss of a friendship and obsess over how and why it was so easy for the friendship to just end. Today, I will not complain. As I watch clips of September 11, 2001, I'm transported back to that day. I was glued to the TV, watching along with the rest of the country. Watching in absolute horror over what was unfolding. Watching as so many lost loved ones in the Twin Towers, The Pentagon and in Pennsylvania. To think of Flight 93 and the bravery shown by those on board to overtake the plane, preventing even more lives from being lost. The sacrifice they made for the greater good. I so have a special spot in my heart for NYC. I still believe that New York is where I was meant to be. I miss New York and hope that in my next life, that is where I end up.

So when you get home and complain about the traffic jam, your bad day at the office or your mountain of homework, think about those we have lost. Think about those 2,977 people that would give anything to be able to complain about the traffic jam, their bad day at the office or their mountain of homework. And be thankful. 

Never Forget. 9.11.01

Just a little follow up...

So, the 2012.5 list? Not off to a great start. I decided to officially start on July 2nd since that was the "official" halfway point of the year. Well, I started off with a giant fizzle. Let's see, it's been 100 degrees this week. Put a damper on No. 3, go on more walks. I mean, who wants to walk in 100 degree weather? I always see those dedicated people running in this heat and I think to myself, "well you're just plain crazy." So not wanted to be crazy, I have stayed indoors in the air conditioning. I'm not afraid to admit I'm a wimp! So by staying indoors, that has wreak havoc on No. 2, watching less TV thru the week. Which also has hamper No. 11, Reach my happy weight. Because how many of us suffer from mindless eating when in front of the TV?! And I guess we all see how No. 5 is going, blog at least once a week....

I did research photography classes in the area, so that's the closest I have come to any of my 2012.5 list. Let's hope I do better. All it takes is a start!

tata for now!

2012 List...sort of

So I missed the boat at the beginning of the year on this idea, so I am calling this 2012.5. A list of things I hope to do/get done some time during the rest of this year. I decided to come up with 12 things since it's 2012, (clever, right?). So here we go:

1. Make a new friend. If you read my previous post, you will understand why this is on the list. And I'm sure it's no coincidence that it was the first thing I wrote down for this list!
2. Watch less TV through the week. Now this may sound like no big deal to most people, but my life revolves around the TV. I watch far too much of it, but with not a lot of other things going on, I usually find myself in front of the TV!
3. Go on more walks. This will help with items 2 and 11!
4. Make/do at least 10 things I have pinned on Pinterest.
5. Blog at least once a week. (Looking at my blogging history, you can see this will be a challenge!)
6. Make more cards.
7. Create at least 2 pieces of art.
8. Be Tina! And don't apologize for it! Do things for me and not for everyone else!
9. Try 1 new thing/something I wouldn't normally do. I am not afraid to admit I am all talk and no action!
10. Take a photography class.
11. Reach my happy weight.
12. Create 3 albums, large or mini count!

Let's see how I do! I am very good at putting things off and waiting until the last minute to do everything! I am also good at doing what other people want to do and not speaking up and saying what I want to do. These days, that shouldn't be a problem!!!

Hey, if you're out there, let me know! It's my goal to get a comment on this blog, even if it is to tell me to take a hike. - Wow, how PG-13 of me!

tata for now!

Accepting an ending and looking for a new beginning...

What are you if you keep trying to open the door on a closed friendship? A masochist or crazy loyal? I often times am both. So loyal to people who don't give that same level of loyalty. Or being so worried about the other, that I fail to look out for myself. Which leads into the argument for being a masochist. I thought I took the hint weeks ago, but I took one last stab at just throwing my feelings out there and much too my dismay, they once again fell on deaf ears. I am not perfect, this I know, but I am finally taking the hint that has been smacking me around for months: "Move along, you're not wanted here anymore!!!" So as I close one chapter, I look towards the next chapter. Making new friends is nothing like when you were a kid. When you're a kid, you just start talking to the kid next to you at the playground and the next thing you know, you're swapping friendship bracelets! As an adult, you talk to the person next to you at the grocery and you get a look like you're a serial killer or just crazy. And then I stumble upon this book at Target, MWF seeking BFF. I am both inspired and dejected all at the same time. It will be hard navigate thru the choppy waters of mature adulthood while searching for a new BFF. I'm not sure that I will find a new BFF, those are hard to find, but I'm hoping to make some new friends. Ones who accept me for who I am, flaws and all. So if you're in the same boat as I, or even close, I strongly urge you to pick up this book. Great read!